tightly wound

My body actually feels physically unwell because of the stress. My skin is a thin sheet of glass that is stretched around my bones, and any moment now, it will shatter.

It's terrible because the smallest thing makes me feel like I am going to have a colossal meltdown and Lord knows I can't continue to function like this for the next few months. It will handicap my mind.

I am often moody and irritable with k. and i don't know if it's because a) he's being dumb and wrong, b) i'm nervous about getting married, or c) i'm stressed. probably (c) or (b) but i sometimes try to make it about (a). poor k. poor me.


My lumpy bag of bones:

Bar prep study
Wedding planning
Apt/house hunting
Job hunting
Student Loans
Wisdom tooth/infection fiasco
Budgeting and finances

i am done with law school.

[i would write in this thing a whole lot more if I didn't have to log out of my normal gmail account to sign into my near-obsolete account to get here. peeve. ]


Rusty the bear loves the snow. I think I would probably love the snow as much as he does if I had his fur and his hopping abilities. K. and i talked about getting water-proof gear to help us romp around with the bear. We also talked about using the bear's fur to make ourselves a coat.

Sometimes I am convinced that this life right now is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Other times, I'm equally convinced that I'm supposed to be doing something else. Thankfully, the positive conviction about my current life is the majority. But there is always an itch. I'm not sure if living out the possibilities of different lives in my head motivates me or depresses me. Maybe both.

Sometimes, I feel at utter peace. This means happiness, confidence, and gratitude. But these days, even the moments of peace kind of creep me out.


I wish I could be in multiple places at once.